closest thing to heaven....
my phone started to ring around the typical Sunday morning time...10:30 ish. its sort of an unsaid rule, but my closest friends will not call me earlier than 10:30 or so on the weekend, unless we talk about it first. let the first few calls go to VM, finally decided to answer the one from (do). He was on his way to the symphony, and although I was tempted the night before, I had no desire to bake in the sun at Dolores Park. Checked my phone...(B) called so I returned his call. Sounded like he was still in bed when he answered. Had no plans and we decided to get out of bed, take showers and call each other back.

By the time I got out of the shower, (B) left a VM..."Plans are in motion! Call me!"
When I called him back, the conversation pretty much went:
(B): We're going to Pt. Reyes!
me: For what? I don't know, thats 2 hours away.
(B) Oysters! and..
me: OK! When are you picking me up?
(B) See you in 30 mins.
~click~

As soon as I hung up, (K) texted me: OYSTERS IN PT. REYES!!

I was in...
The past few weeks I have become very close with (K). I guess we have always hung out with the group, never too much time in a smaller setting, but a few weeks ago we went wine tasting with just three of us. Strangely, she is moving this weekend, but only 4 hours away. Truly an awesome person and a great friend to know. Wish her the best.

Anyway, (kgk), (lg), (B) and I were meeting (le) and (ms) in Pt. Reyes. We were to pick up the oysters, they were gonna grab everything else. We ate 98 oysters between the group (we gave 2 away to a nurse who later cut her finger while cutting an avocado for us)! The raw ones were the best and we had so many "special sauces" and ingredients to add to them. (B) as always, made a signature "Full Month" that had avo, wine, beer, special sauce, watermelon, etc...

While eating the delicious oystskies, I sat for a moment alone, enjoying a cigarette, and for the first time in a very long time, i let myself be taken in 100% by my surroundings. I try my hardest to make time for this as often as possible, but it was the first time that the world let me in with everything it had. The sound of the light breeze whistling through the trees, kids playing at a distant beach, the sound of birds singing, people chatting, the grill firing, the water on the bay slowly moving along the coast...imagine being at total peace...imagine feeling like you are watching down from above and seeing yourself being absorbed by the world...amazing.

Lately, things haven't been too straight in my head. I have no reasons to really be down on myself, but we don't always have control over our emotions and feelings. I have no exact issue I can pinpoint so its tought address it. To have a moment where I was able to let go of EVERYTHING in my head, my body, and my sould was the best therapy I could have asked for.

We then had a late swim. I wasn't planning on it, but I went for a brisk swim in the warm waters.

Had the closest thing to a perfect day as I ever think I will experience in this life. All i can do is to make sure I have many more of those days in the future....

"They thin my heart with little things
And my life with change
Oh in so many ways
I find more missing every day"
~theologians, wilco

double life....


so being in sf for years has made me realize who i am as a person. its made me comfortable in my own skin. i dont have to put up the "los angeles" front. it doesn't matter what i look like, what music i like, what kind of people i associate with. for the first time in my life, i could be myself completely without worrying about it. now, most young people go through this phase, but trust me....growing up in LA was no joke.

then comes lifeguarding vs. sf life...

even to this day, when i travel to los angeles to work on the beach, i find myself having to play a role. not 100% sure what that role is...
maybe its my family, my old friends that already know that i am a little "hippie" in their eyes", the lifeguards as a whole...but i cant figure out what i ti s exactly. maybe its just me being back in my element. surfing, sailing, making rescues, helping people, the sand between my toes.
I find myself being much more of what (js) calls the "South Bay James." Same ol'cocky, thinks he knows it all guy that i am in sf, but with a socal twist. maybe thats why i am convinced that i may be a nice guy, but really deep down i am a total jerk.

most importantly, my friends and family accept who i am regardless of my personality flaws, and i am happy with the person i am...for the most part.

the past several months have been the best times of my life. at the same time, i am finding myself in dark places because of the way things work themselves out. one of my closest friends is kicking cancers ass right now, another is moving out of the city. i still have to get 10 days in on the beach before September 1st, and i have grips of employees to worry about in sf.

nobody said life was easy, but right now is a little overwhelming.


"Oh I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm I get high with a little help from my friends,
Mmm I'm gonna to try with a little help from my friends. "
~the beatles

heaven on earth...

so after my stint at the local JC where i grew up, I ended up chosing San Francisco as my new home. my sister already lived here so i had a small foundation so it was an easy decision. plus, not many people know it, but my obsession with the grateful dead brought me to their hometown.
the day i moved to sf, a friend that was living in santa cruz came up to help me move in. as we drove down one of many "avenues" in the sunset district, he abruptly asked me to pull the car over because his friend (mm) lived there. now, every single house in this neighborhood looked exactly the same, and i doubted his intuition, but when we went to the door, sure enough, (mm) answered and introduced himself with a simple question..."do you puff?"
i knew i had a good friend in sf already! ended up meeting his roomate, (HA) at the time. became close friends and eventually within days i met the whole gang. we spent pretty much every single day at a bar called kennedy's near fishermans wharf. when i say everyday, i mean everyday. it became too much of a scene after a couple years so we slowly retreated, but without kennedy's, i would not have the friends i do now.
in 2000, ended up seeing a jazz is dead show at the great american music hall...where we met (ck) and (jo). They werent married yet, thats when bizarro worlds collided into a massive family. Slowly but surely, without realizing, a true phamily was formed.
hundred of shows, festivals, canoe trips, river rafting ,expeditions, fishing trips, other trips, etc...later, we find ourselves as a huge, completely functioning, dpread throughout the world crew. When we go to shows, its rarely ever less than 10 deep. High Sierra Music Festival this year had over 36 people! Are you kidding me? My friend mean the world to me, without them, SF would be less meaningful of a place to live.

growing up....


So, being my first post on this new, hip, and fantastic site...i guess the simplest thing to do is start with a small intro.
Growing up in SoCal, and moving to the Bay Area in 1999, may have been the single best decision I made in my life. Although my roots are firm in LA, my life and headspace is all about the City. How can I put my entire childhood in just a few short sentences...Grew up in an ultra-white neighborhood, surfing, swimming, fishing, boating, martial arts, playing the sax(ama)phone. Parents were pretty strict, but now when I look back, I appreciate all that they did for me, even if I thought they were gnarls. My early childhood was paradise. I used to go fishing/scuba diving with my dad every other weekend for about 8 years. I surfed daily, even if there were no waves just so i can get in the ocean. On small days, we would paddle out with our hawaiian slings and catch fish to cook on the beach...what more can a kid ask for?
Had some identity problems growing up in such a $$ driven neighborhood where every kid got a brand new BMW or Mercedes when they turned 16. You had to be cool! Then I got shit from the asian kids that just moved to the area after their parents made some cash...got tons of shit, even though I can read, write, speak my language. Then high school came and I pretty much was a complete stuck-up, conceded, jerk!
I was known as the super party guy that always knew where to go on the weekends, and was exposed to a lot of different kinds of "partying".
Being a swimmer though, I was given the chance to attend college with some assistance from the school. I chose ASU of all places, which ultimately was a disaster waiting to happen. Take a kid from high school that loves to party and put him at Arizona State University...um...yeah.
Left that school after a year and took off on a multi-month adventure through China and Korea, then Europe.
I went to China because I had some "lost" family that nobody in my family had ever met. When the japanese invaded Korea, my grandparents, their siblings, and pretty much anybody that coould, feld to Manchuria, China to be safe from the invading japanese. After years of being away from their homeland, my grandparents spent several months walking...yes, literally walking back to their home in Korea. My father's mother ended up having to leave all her siblings behind in China because they didn't feel that they would survive the hundreds and hundreds of miles back to KR. Ends up, in the late 1980's, one of my grandmothers sister got in contact with us through several years of searching...as well as China finally being a capitalist society. I went the China to find the rest of the sisters and her brother. I found all her sisters, and found out her brother was in North Korea and stuck in a communist civilization that is probably one of the most horrible places on Earth. At the time, it was probably one of the hardest as well and rewarding things I ever did.

I ended up coming home on a Friday night, by Sunday I was off to Paris, France. Travelled Europe and could easily write a 4 volume novel on my experiences there...so we'll just say that this trip had the biggest impact on my life as a person, to this day. The people I met in Europe and later ran into at shows, schools, other parts of the world, etc...just shows me how small this world is.

Went to Jr. College for a year and a half, got back into competetive swimming and finally enjoyed my childhood passion again. Played water polo again too...which is the best sport ever!
Ended up getting in awesome shape, and since I enjoyed swimming again, I pretty much tore shit up. Made a lot of school records, achieved everything I set out to do, and had a great time doing it.

Since I was living in LA again, I decided to have corrective eye surgery so I can become a Los Angeles County Lifeguard. Growing up as a competitive swimmer and surfing, I was lucky to be extremely comfortable in the ocean. The swim test was the coldest water temp in the history of the LA Co. Lifeguards, at 53 degrees! 400+ people tried out, about 150 didn't even make it to the first bouy, and I ended up getting 3rd. After interviews, finished with the highest score going into "THE ACADEMY".
Spent the next 6 weeks getting my ass handed to me for 13 hours a day. If you pissed off and instructor, we would do run-swim-run-swim-run-swim-run until they felt like we had enough. Came out of "rookie school" into the South Bay top of the class and was the first rookie to be put to work. So STOKED!
First day was at Ainsworth Tower in Redondo Beach. Had the whole tower to myself...awesome day. Didn't even have to rescue a single person! There were only about 6000 people at the beach that day, so I was happy to have not gotten wet. 7:45 pm rolls around and I start to close my tower. Get a phone call from a friend asking how my first day went, when I noticed someone running to me waving their arms frantically in the air. Did I miss something? Whats going on? Did someone drown?
I hangup the phone, dial 911 into HQ, ran out of my tower towards the guy running towards me. He yells, "Some guy just drowned down the beach!". All of a sudden, i had tunnel vision and saw the lifeless body, getting pounded by the Redondo Beach shore pound. Worst part...the guy was faced down. Pulled him out with his head stable just in case the shore pound hurt his back, and immediately went into the steps of CPR. No pulse...no breathing....SHIT! I reach in my pocket for my pocket mask, negative. Time to SUCK FACE as we say. After 4 mins of CPR, my backup arrived with O2 and a difib. Didn't need to defib cause I ended up getting a pulse and he started to breathe on his own.
After 3 years of lifeguarding on a full-time schedule, I moved to SF.
Since being here, I have made the most amazing group of friends. None of them surf, none of them understand any of my slang, but we all share a passion for music, and most importantly, love each other tremendously. The SF story begins in my next post....